Personal Informal Study #1 - Introduction to Binary Relate-Ability Systems

[Excuse if these thoughts are jumbled, I'll edit them as I move on and fully develop them.]

There are dozens of ways that we relate to, categorize, and judge other people. Many people look at a person they've just met and judge them based on a binary system they've created for a quick-reference guide to that new person's personality. The first impression isn't exactly universal: by this I mean though we all take and give first impressions, we all have our own set of qualities we look for or overlook, based on what is important to us. Just a few I've come across are:

Dominant/Submissive
Sexual/Non-Sexual
Religious/Non-Religious
Drinker/Non-Drinker

I don't find that these binary systems of judgment are exclusive. Specifically, I've talked with a friend who looks to both the Sexual/Non-Sexual and the Religious/Non-Religious scales of relate-ability. When he meets with someone, these are the things he finds out first about that person. I also don't want to say that he's limited to these systems, either. There is of course much more to his perceptions than these - it's simply that these are important distinctions that must be made for him to interact with whomever he is meeting. So I want to say that though the system itself is binary, the manner of judgment of others is absolutely not binary.

What is important to individuals varies as much as their personalities.

And some rely more heavily on these judgments than others, as well. The girl I met who created images of people as either Dominant or Submissive had to find everyone's place in her scale. It was important to her view of the world. Each individual's responses would be carefully weighed, their verbal, facial, physical reactions all documented, and a judgement would be made - is this person sexually dominant? Or sexually submissive?

Of course these self-created scales carry a place within them for their creator - each person who uses these views knows exactly where they fall in regard to these ideas, and what they are looking for in another to fulfill part of their outlook.

I wonder now, how compatible people can be who don't find each other on their scales...
[Must find another word, other than 'scales'. This quickly gets old.]

I myself use several of these binary systems to look at others. I tend to separate people into Emotional/Logical, Trustworthy/Not, Sincere/Fake, and Respectful/Obnoxious. This last perhaps does not fit into an opposite themed scale, but I find those without respect for others obnoxious, so...

These systems effect all of our interactions with other people, even long into the relationship - and drastic swings in the placement of a long-term acquaintance within these ideas/ideals tends to lead to drastic changes in the relationship with that other person - whether it bring them closer or tear them apart upon revelation.

Personal Experience - My placement of my best friend on the scale of Sincere/Fake, or to be more accurate I suppose, Honest/Dishonest, had a huge swing when I was young - At the time I was straight-laced and looked down on others for smoking or drinking (stress young) and when I asked if he smoked weed, he lied to my face and told me he did not. When I found, several years later, that he was a smoker at the time, I was sincerely hurt - not that I gave a damn that he smoked weed, but that he'd felt compelled to lie to me about it. This didn't cause us to grow apart - but that was simply through a force of will forgive and a strong camaraderie, not because it was easy to simply displace in my mind. I still have in the back of my head the knowledge that he is capable of lying on a whim, and this sometimes bothers me...

[I suppose this will happen again should I become a father - which I plan to do. Hm...]

Thus showing how important these personally developed and nurtured and relied-upon systems are to each of us. [Or perhaps that's just me. I will ask around further on this, I find this interesting.]

It interests me to see how many of these views I can find. I enjoy finding how people look at others, and all the different weights we give to portions of personality. I'm sure there are studies on these things - but I prefer my own brand of jargon and my own experiences to people who do this for a living. Hobbies are more fun than jobs.

Necessary Evil - First Installment

I love snobs.

No, that's wrong:
I respect snobs.

music snobs (in all their genres)
movie snobs (or 'film' or 'cinema' if you prefer)
comic book snobs
cooking snobs
technology snobs
sports snobs
clothing snobs
art snobs
literary snobs
carpentry snobs (yes, I'm serious)
theatre snobs (not 'theater'. the 're' is important)
coffee snobs

Truly, any category of life or self expression has someone who honestly believes there is one way to go about doing something and that everyone should abide by this almighty Way. Some find this the most annoying possible attribute a human can have. To be able to tell someone, seriously, that their personal opinion is simply wrong. For a while I did myself. But then I realized what a snob really is; it is someone so passionate about what they enjoy/love/like that they want it all to be perfect.
That part of it is beautiful.
It's stupid. and insensitive. and still a bit annoying, I won't lie.
But for some reason I find that kind of passion almost noble. These people are standing up for what they love. They are sitting there ready to tell you to drop dead if you don't agree with them. Lying in wait to disown you if you like something they consider inferior to what they like.

Who is more of a fan than a snob?
Whose approval is weighted better than anyone else, even if you think it subconsciously?
What would we do without those criticizing bastards who are more than ready to tell you what is crap and what is perfection?

Be a snob. Be passionate. Be an asshole about it.

Someone has to.